


Sikh and Ye Shall Find

by baroque_mongoose



Category: Girl Genius, Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle
Genre: Crossover, Gen, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-17
Updated: 2015-02-17
Packaged: 2018-03-13 12:00:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3380735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baroque_mongoose/pseuds/baroque_mongoose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A powerful young British spark is kidnapped.  Sherlock Holmes and John Watson come to look for her in Wulfenbach territory, and enlist the help of Lord Heversham (formerly Ardsley Wooster), Gilgamesh Wulfenbach, Agatha Heterodyne, and the Jägers.</p>
<p>That's some powerful help.  But what nobody has taken into account is that the young spark is a Sikh, and her kidnappers have taken away her kirpan, or ritual dagger.  And that means *war*.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sikh and Ye Shall Find

When I was told that Mr Sherlock Holmes and Dr John Watson were waiting to see me, I was a little surprised. I know Dr Watson quite well, and had had no prior warning of this visit. Naturally I had them shown in straight away, and sent for some refreshments, since they must have come straight from London.

“Good afternoon, gentlemen,” I said. “This is an unexpected pleasure.”

“Good afternoon, my lord,” replied Holmes. “I'm afraid this is not so much pleasure as business. We are here on a case, and have come to ask for your assistance.”

“Ah, well, I'm happy to give you any help I can,” I assured him. “What exactly is the problem?”

“A young British spark has disappeared,” Holmes explained. “Her name is Ajeet Kaur, and she is, by all accounts, remarkable. She may possibly be the strongest spark the nation has produced since Trelawney Thorpe. We believe that she has been kidnapped and that she is somewhere here in Wulfenbach territory.”

I raised an eyebrow. “A powerful spark, and armed at that? Is she likely to _stay_ kidnapped?”

“How do you know she is armed?” asked Watson, curiously.

“Her name is Kaur,” I replied. “Therefore, she is a baptised Sikh, and therefore she carries with her the _kirpan_ , or sacred dagger, at all times; and I assure you that it is not merely decorative. She will almost certainly know how to use it.”

“As usual, you are very knowledgeable,” said Watson.

“It is the sort of thing I need to know,” I replied. “Some British people are Sikhs.”

“Indeed,” said Holmes. “It appears that she may have been kidnapped by a secretive organisation calling itself the Order of Solomon. Do you have any information about them?”

“Oh,” I said. “Them. Certainly I have. One moment.” I rang the bell on my desk, and one of the Embassy staff came in. “Mr Dunwoody, please bring me what we have on the Order of Solomon.”

Holmes raised an eyebrow. “I see the name is not unfamiliar to you.”

“No, indeed,” I replied. “What I can tell you about them before Mr Dunwoody comes back is that they tried to get me to join them. I was... a little short with them, in the end.”

“They were persistent, then?” asked Holmes.

“Annoyingly so,” I replied. “It's clear that they are seeking political power of some kind, and they thought I would be useful to them for that purpose. This may sound odd coming from a former spy, but I do not really approve of secret societies.”

Holmes nodded. “Yes. They are British imperialists; their aim in trying to recruit you would have been to take over the Wulfenbach Empire by stealth. We think they have now forcibly acquired the services of Miss Kaur to the same end. Naturally, Her Undying Majesty is extremely anxious to avoid any kind of diplomatic incident.”

“British terrorists,” I said, bitterly. “That is all we need. I shall naturally help you to the utmost extent of my ability, and I should also advise talking to Gil, that is to say Baron Wulfenbach. I can easily arrange that if you wish. Moreover, we may have some extra help available. Agatha Heterodyne is visiting at the moment, and she, as I'm sure you know, is an even stronger spark than Gil.”

Mr Dunwoody returned at this point with a manilla folder, which I asked him to give to Holmes. “Yes, I think it would be useful to talk to the Baron,” Holmes replied.

“Then I shall speak to him about it later today,” I promised. “I've been invited up for dinner.”

Holmes leafed through the folder. “Ah, this is extremely helpful. Thank you very much, my lord. Now I know where to start asking questions.”

“You're more than welcome,” I said. “Come back and see me tomorrow morning, and I'll let you know about Gil.”

Lucilla and I flew up to Castle Wulfenbach later for dinner, where we met Agatha and her ever-present Jäger bodyguard. “Goot to see hyu, Mister Vooster,” said Oggie.

“Hey, Earl!” said Maxim. “Und Countess!”

“Hyu iz both lookink vell,” Dimo observed.

“So are you three,” I replied. It was hardly necessary. I had known Dimo, Maxim and Oggie for something like thirty years now; I had visibly aged, but they had not, or at least not enough for me to discern any change. Maxim, in particular, still looked as though he must be in his twenties, whereas of course he was really well over two hundred years old. I sometimes find myself envying the Jägers a little.

“Hallo, Ardsley. Hallo, Lucilla,” said Agatha. “Lovely to see you. How are things?”

We were still chatting when Gil approached. “Ah, there you two are,” he said, cheerfully. “We may have a slight delay with the pudding, but my kitchen minions are excellent, so they may be able to sort it out in time.”

“What happened?” asked Agatha.

“I built a device for making meringues in complicated shapes,” he explained. “It exploded.”

“Ah. So we may not actually be having meringue?” asked Lucilla.

“That is a possibility,” Gil replied.

“Nobody was hurt, I hope?” I enquired.

“Only a clank, and it was fixable.” He beckoned a minion with a tray of drinks. “Now, what will you have?”

When we both had a drink, I drew Gil and Agatha to one side while Lucilla continued to chat with the Jägers. “I had a visit from Mr Holmes and Dr Watson this afternoon,” I said. “They're looking for a missing British spark, believed to be in this area.”

“Lost, stolen or strayed?” asked Gil.

“Stolen, it appears,” I replied. “They think she's been kidnapped by a group calling itself the Order of Solomon.”

“Never heard of them,” said Gil.

“Nor have I, I'm afraid,” Agatha added.

“H'mm,” I said. “I thought they were making enough of a nuisance of themselves for at least one of you to have had them infiltrated by now. Still, they are a British group. As far as we know, the members on the Continent are all British expatriates rather than people who were born here.”

“And what do they want?” asked Agatha.

I rolled my eyes. “The usual. World domination. Hence this spark. Mr Holmes says she is an unusually powerful one, and... well, you two might well know how to find a powerful spark.”

“I should think they won't be able to keep her hidden for very long,” said Agatha.

“No,” replied Gil. “There'll be chaos wherever she goes. All Mr Holmes need do is look for a string of unexplained and dangerous occurrences. I should think that hardly takes a detective of his calibre.”

“Indeed,” I said, “but that hasn't started happening yet, and it might be nice to stop it before it starts, just for once. Gil, could Mr Holmes and Dr Watson see you tomorrow afternoon? And you too, Agatha, if you'd like to help.”

Gil nodded. “Certainly. I'll give them any assistance I can.”

“Me too,” said Agatha. “Two sparks are usually better than one.”

That, I thought wryly, does rather depend on the context. Aloud I replied, “Thank you. I'm sure they'll both be very glad of your help.”

Holmes and Watson returned the following morning, and I was able to let them know that Gil and Agatha would see them at two in the afternoon. “I expect you have been busy in the interim,” I remarked.

“Yes,” replied Holmes. “We are dealing with a small, but extremely well organised, group; and they do not have a building which serves as headquarters, which makes matters interesting. It is most likely that Miss Kaur is being held in someone's house, and that person need not be a member of the group. It could just as easily be someone they have bribed or intimidated.”

“You seem more certain than you were yesterday that they really do have her,” I said.

He nodded. “Indeed, my lord. Yesterday I disguised myself in order to pass as a member of the Order, and spoke to one of the contacts listed in your file. Hence I was able to confirm that they have her. Unfortunately, the man I saw did not know where she was.”

“We are worried for her safety,” said Watson. “She has been kidnapped for her skills, not for a ransom. If she does not co-operate, they may kill her.”

“That has crossed my mind,” I said. “Do we know she is still alive at this point? Things are rather disturbingly quiet, considering the fact that we are dealing with a powerful spark.”

“Could you explain?” asked Holmes, immediately interested.

“Ah,” I said. “You clearly have not had much experience with powerful sparks, Mr Holmes. I once had the somewhat mixed privilege of travelling the length and breadth of Europa with Agatha Heterodyne. Now, I will concede that the circumstances were rather different in that case, but, even so, a high-calibre spark will normally tend to cause chaotic effects in the immediate vicinity.”

“She is being held against her will,” Watson reminded me. “She may be tied up, drugged, or both.”

“But if they want to use her talents, they cannot keep her in such a state for ever,” I replied. “Sooner or later, they will have to give her enough freedom to work; and she will undoubtedly use it.”

We continued the discussion over lunch, and I flew them up to Castle Wulfenbach just before two. When we arrived, we found that Dimo was in the room along with Gil and Agatha. Holmes raised a quizzical eyebrow. I was aware that he had encountered Jägers once before, and had not come off very well.

“This is Dimo,” I said. “I assure you, he can be completely trusted.”

“That's right,” said Agatha briskly. “He's here because it's possible we may need to use some force to rescue this young lady, and if you need a lot of force concentrated in a small area, there is nobody better than Jägers. Dimo here is a Jäger General.”

“Ja,” said Dimo. “Also, ve iz gettink bored vit no-vun to hit. Hyu lead us to de villains, ve hit dem for hyu. It vill be our great pleasure.”

“I see his lordship has already filled you in,” Holmes observed.

Gil nodded. “He has. Anything we can do to help, we'll both be happy to oblige. Have you located her yet, Mr Holmes?”

“Not yet, I'm afraid, Herr Baron,” replied Holmes, “but I am at any rate closer to it than I was at this time yesterday. I now know for certain that she is in the hands of the Order of Solomon.”

“What has Solomon got to do with it, anyway?” asked Agatha.

“He was famed for his wisdom, and I believe they like to think of themselves as repositories of wisdom,” I replied. “Perhaps Miss Kaur will teach them that it is not wise to kidnap a spark.”

“It's certainly not wise to tangle with a Wulfenbach,” said Gil, pugnaciously.

“But it's always fun to tango with one,” said Agatha, with a mischievous grin.

Gil coughed. “That's rather beside the point. I'm not thinking of dancing with the Order of Solomon. Well, Mr Holmes, I already have people who report anything unusual to me; if I hear of anything relevant, I'll make sure you know about it straight away.”

“Do we know what Miss Kaur's speciality is?” asked Agatha. “If we do, I may be able to build a device to help track her down, although there's no guarantee of that. It depends very much on what it is.”

“She is a miniaturist,” replied Watson. “She specialises in building very tiny devices.”

Agatha sighed. “Oh dear. That's not very helpful. If, for instance, she liked to use a particular kind of radiation beam, that would be easy to detect. But miniatures... not so much.”

“It's useful in that I know what to look for,” said Gil grimly. “If this gang of megalomaniacs do manage to get her to work for them, I'll know to keep an eye out for strange insects.”

Dimo grinned. “Tiny clenks iz easy to sqvash.”

“Not if they come in flocks,” said Agatha. “I should know. I've built them.”

We ended up agreeing to share any information that came our way, and I specifically agreed to contact British Intelligence and ask them if they had anyone infiltrating the Order, and, if they had, to send him over here at once. It would, of course, be a “him”; like many secret societies, the Order of Solomon was all-male. Women, I suppose, are less likely to have delusions of grandeur.

As it turned out, British Intelligence did not have an infiltrator at the time, but I believe they decided to arrange for one soon afterwards; however, it was not long at all before we heard from Mr Holmes again. He had successfully tracked Miss Kaur to a house in Vienna, and now it was just a question of getting her out.

We had a minor council of war about it. “It should be easy enough,” said Gil. “Just send in the troops. And the Jägers, of course,” he added, with a glance at Dimo.

“I'm not sure about that,” I said. “They may kill Miss Kaur if we approach them too openly.”

“Before ve ken make any plans,” Dimo rumbled, “ve got to know vot der house iz like. Iz houses und houses.”

“Yes, and it might also be useful to know how many of them are in there,” said Agatha. “Mr Holmes doesn't tell us.”

“H'mm,” said Gil. “I'm going to have to go there myself, aren't I?”

“Why?” asked Agatha.

“Because of Ardsley,” Gil explained. “I think he's going to be needed, and Whitehall has got so fed up with him asking for official clearance any time he goes anywhere with me that he's now got standing clearance to follow me about if I ask him to. All right. I've got a lieutenant with some troops nearby. I'll send her a message to bring them into the city and await further orders. The rest of us will go over in the flyer. Dimo, you'd better go and get Maxim and Oggie.”

Dimo grinned from ear to ear. “Ve iz on it!”

I duly sent a wire to Holmes and Watson, and within a few hours we had landed a little way outside Vienna, where the two men were waiting for us along with Lieutenant von Westerdorf and a private soldier who had been allotted the task of running messages. It was arranged that Holmes and Watson would take us into the city to see the house where Miss Kaur was being held, and, once there, we would formulate a plan to get her out; meanwhile, the Lieutenant would deploy her troops at various locations near the house, out of sight but within easy reach if they were needed.

“Hy hope hyu dun need to call de troops,” said Maxim, as Holmes led us towards the tram terminus. “Ve'd kind of like to deal vit dis vun ourselves.”

“Ja!” said Oggie. “Iz not every day ve get to thump kidnappers.”

“We'll see what the conditions are like when we reach the house,” replied Gil.

The tram took us into the city, and we walked from the stop to the house. It turned out to be a gracious old terraced house with three storeys, not too unlike some of those found in central London. Gil frowned. “That's going to be difficult to surround,” he observed. “I suppose you've reconnoitred the place thoroughly from the outside, Mr Holmes?”

Holmes nodded. “Of course. And, yes, you are correct, Herr Baron. There is a lane running between the back gardens of these houses and those of the houses in the adjacent street, but the gardens have high walls with doors, and the one to this house's back garden is locked from the inside. I did pick the lock last night and slip in unobserved, but it would not be easy for several people to enter in daylight.”

“Unless dey iz not vorried about beink seen,” Dimo pointed out. “Like us.”

“Dimo, I know you're champing at the bit, but we can't let them know they're being watched until we get Miss Kaur out of there,” I reminded him.

“No reason we can't post the Jägers in the lane, though,” said Agatha.

“We might need one of them round the front,” I replied. “It depends which way they come out. If they come out.”

“Do you know where in the house Miss Kaur is?” asked Gil. “I see there's a basement, and that would be the obvious place, but I expect there is also an attic.”

“Without getting into the house myself, I couldn't find that out,” replied Holmes. “I did make an attempt, but then I saw a light come on upstairs. I am fairly sure I was not seen or heard; someone, I think, was merely wakeful. Even so, it would not have been safe to proceed further.”

“I'll tell you exactly where I am,” said a voice behind us. “I'm here.”

We all turned. We found ourselves looking at a girl of about eighteen or nineteen with long jet-black hair tied up in a neat pigtail. She wore a green salwar kameez with gold embroidery, a very English jacket and hat, and a dupatta over the whole ensemble.

I found my voice first. “You are Miss Ajeet Kaur?”

“Correct,” she replied. “And those crooks have my _kirpan_. I've come to get it back.”

Gil gaped. “How did you get out?”

She grinned at him. “They missed this.” She held up something in her hand.

“Oh, wow,” Agatha breathed, leaning closer to look at it. “That's a beautiful piece of work. I've never built anything as small as that. What does it do?”

“You're a spark?” asked Miss Kaur.

“Yes. I'm Agatha Heterodyne. It's good to meet you.”

“Oh, I say! Can I have your autograph, please? You've always been a bit of a hero of mine. Um.”

“Of course you can,” Agatha replied, “but what does your clank do?”

“Oh... sorry! Well, one thing it can do is get into a lock and open it from the inside. They drugged me, and I pretended to be worse affected than I really was. Once I'd lulled them into a false sense of security, I used the little clank to get out. But they took my _kirpan_ , and I couldn't find it.” Her eyes narrowed. “You don't do that to a Sikh.”

“Ve find it,” said Dimo. “Vot does it look like?”

“It's a dagger, about nine inches long,” Miss Kaur explained. “It's got some writing on the hilt, but you probably won't be able to read it.”

“Devanagari script?” I asked.

She stared at me. “Yes.”

“I can read it, then.”

“Are you Indian?” she asked.

“No,” I replied. “I'm as British as you are. But my grandfather was from Lucknow, and I still have relatives there. And I'm sorry; I haven't yet introduced either myself or the others. This is Baron Wulfenbach, this is Mr Sherlock Holmes, this is Dr John Watson, this is Dimo, this is Maxim, this is Oggie, and I am the Earl of Heversham.”

“Your ambassador,” Gil added.

“Oh! Lord Heversham? Aren't you the one who fought off a whole pack of Martellus von Blitzengaard's wolves single-handed?”

“Absolutely not,” I replied. “You're probably thinking of one of the Jägers.”

Watson coughed. “I suppose you do know there are a few tall tales about you going round in England? You're quite a celebrity these days, though you may not realise it.”

Holmes laughed. “Ah, yes. I am familiar with that. Some of the things I am supposed to have done also beggar belief.”

“I can give you another dagger, if that's all you need,” Gil offered.

I sighed. “Gil, this is not just a dagger. It's a _kirpan_. It's a holy object, as well as being of practical use. Taking a Sikh's _kirpan_ away from them is more than just disarming them. It's an act of sacrilege.”

Miss Kaur nodded. “You understand, my lord.”

“I do my best,” I replied.

“So,” said Agatha. “What are we actually doing about this?”

I drew my gun. “I say we go in and get the _kirpan_ , and you call your troops to catch the gang when they make a break for it, which they undoubtedly will. And when I say 'we', I mean the Jägers and myself. I need to be there because I can identify the dagger.”

“With all respect, my lord,” said Miss Kaur, “you're not going in there without me.”

“Are you armed?” asked Agatha.

“I've got a couple of dozen more of those clanks in my pockets now,” replied Miss Kaur. “So, yes.”

“Ve iz talkink too much,” said Dimo. “Vy dun ve yust go in dere und get dem?”

“Wait for the troops,” replied Gil. “I'll bring them in now.”

The messenger was duly sent running to the Lieutenant, and within a few minutes we had troops positioned both in the street and in the lane at the back of the house. “Ready?” I asked.

Gil nodded. “Go for it, Ardsley.”

There was a cheer from the Jägers. They started to run up to the door, but I called them back. “No, no,” I said. “Let's do this properly. We ring the doorbell first. If they don't answer, then you can break the door down; but we don't know whose house this is, and I don't want the door smashed unless we have to.”

“I will ring the doorbell,” said Miss Kaur.

“That seems entirely appropriate,” I replied.

Miss Kaur rang the doorbell. The door opened briefly, but before we could see who had answered it, it was shut in our faces. Not slammed, though. Maxim had snaked out a long leg and got his booted foot firmly into the gap.

“De younk lady vants her dagger back,” he said. “Hyu giff it to her or ve come in und get it.”

“Und ve dun yust get it,” added Oggie. “Ve bash hyu goot.”

Someone fired round the door. Dimo reached out with one hand and forced it fully open, and we piled in behind him. There were two men in the hall, both with guns.

“Clanks!” Miss Kaur shouted. “Get them!”

The air was suddenly full of tiny flying clanks, and within seconds there was mayhem. More of the gang arrived at speed. The Jägers charged. I took cover behind a grandfather clock and fired whenever I could get a clear aim. And Miss Kaur took off her dupatta, grabbed a heavy bronze statuette from the top of the nearest bookcase, tied it in the shawl, and started swinging it around to impressive effect. It is really not a good plan to annoy a Sikh.

The Order of Solomon soon realised that it was outmatched. Some of its members left the house under their own steam, where they were picked up by the troops. The unluckier ones left more rapidly, via the windows, propelled by a punch from a Jäger. The unluckiest one of all had to be carried out; he had gone for Miss Kaur, who had knocked him out with the bronze statuette.

Once they were all outside, we searched the house, and I found the _kirpan_ in an upstairs study. I brought it down to where Miss Kaur was industriously turning the front parlour upside down.

“It's here,” I said.

She beamed. “Thank you!”

“You're more than welcome. Where are the Jägers?”

“Searching the kitchen, I think,” she replied.

“Ah. Yes. That makes sense,” I said. “They're always hungry after a fight.”

“They're fun,” she observed. “I like them.”

“Glad to hear it,” I replied, with a smile. “Those three are very old friends of mine. I'll go and root them out.”

I duly found them in the kitchen, where they had, as it turned out, picked up an unconsidered trifle. At least, I imagine it was unconsidered, since its previous owners were likely to have a number of other things on their minds at this moment, or at least those of them who were conscious.

“Come on, chaps,” I said. “Job done. I found Miss Kaur's _kirpan_ upstairs. And, Oggie, you might want to use the dishcloth first. You're covered in custard.”

“Iz goot custard, Mister Vooster,” he said, happily. “Und dot vos a goot fight.”

Dimo sucked whipped cream off his fingers. “Ve be outside in a few minutes,” he said. “Ve yust finish dis.”

“Vant some?” asked Maxim.

“No, thank you,” I replied. “It's kind of you to offer, but, if you recall, I can't eat sweet things.”

“Ho. Sorry. Hy forgot for a moment.”

I went back out with Miss Kaur to join the others. The Lieutenant was directing operations, and Gil was scratching his chin thoughtfully. “Oh, there you are, Ardsley,” he said. “I suppose this lot will have to be extradited back to England, won't they? After all, that's where they kidnapped Miss Kaur.”

“They will, but there's no hurry about that,” I replied. “If you want to have someone talk to them first, by all means feel free. I should think they have a few charges to answer here, too.”

“And, speaking of returning to England,” said Holmes, “we shall need to get you home, Miss Kaur.”

“Not just yet!” exclaimed Agatha. “Miss Kaur and I want to talk spark stuff, don't we, Miss Kaur?”

Miss Kaur grinned from ear to ear. “That would be excellent, Lady Heterodyne.”

The Jägers emerged from the house, looking well satisfied and, in Oggie's case, still bearing several traces of custard. “Dis iz der best day ve haff had for ages,” said Dimo.

“Und hyu iz awesome, Miss Kaur,” said Oggie dreamily. “Hyu vield a mean bronze statuette.”

“Ah,” I said. “I believe you have a new admirer.”

“Sorry, Oggie,” said Miss Kaur. “You're very nice, but you're not a Sikh. I really want to marry another Sikh.”

“Vot do hy haff to do to become vun?” asked Oggie.

“Hey,” said Maxim. “Hy tot hyu vos in luff vit Miss McTavish.”

“Ho. Yez. Vell...” Oggie scratched his head, clearly troubled.

“Is it just a question of which of them can hit harder?” I enquired.

“Hy dun know. Dey iz both goot at hittink,” said Oggie.

“Hyu can't change hyu religion yust because hyu iz in luff,” Dimo objected.

“Hy not got a religion, zo iz not a problem changink it,” replied Oggie logically.

“Never mind all that,” said Gil. “We've finished here, yes? Miss Kaur here is safe, she's got her dagger back, Lieutenant von Westerdorf is dealing with the offenders, and there's nothing more for us to do. We may as well go back to Castle Wulfenbach.” He paused. “That includes you if you wish, Miss Kaur, since Agatha clearly wants to talk to you. You as well, Mr Holmes and Dr Watson. You can stay overnight and return to England in the morning.”

“Thank you, Herr Baron,” said Miss Kaur.

“Hyu got all hyu liddle clenks?” asked Maxim.

Miss Kaur patted her pockets. “Yes. They're all in here.”

On the way back to the flyer, Oggie sidled up to me. “Hy got a problem, Mister Vooster,” he said.

“Because you can't decide between Miss McTavish and Miss Kaur?” I asked. “I should go for Miss McTavish, if I were you. She works for Agatha, but Miss Kaur is going back to England tomorrow and you'll probably never see her again.”

“Hy vorked dot out myself,” replied Oggie proudly. “Dot iz not der problem.”

“Oh, sorry, Oggie,” I said. “So what is?”

“Hy still dun know how hyu become a Sikh,” he explained.

I frowned. “Oggie, why do you want to become a Sikh if you've already decided you're going to stick with Miss McTavish?”

“Iz dot scarf ting she got,” Oggie replied. “Iz a really goot veapon vhen hyu put zumtink heavy in it. Hy vant vun.”

“It's a dupatta,” I said, “and, honestly, Oggie, you don't need to be a Sikh to have one.”

“Ho! Dot's all right, den.”

It is as I said earlier. In thirty years, Oggie really has not changed a bit.


End file.
